So when it came to assembling the cast of super-strong heroes and weirdoes that were going to appear in my new game, DEADPOOL, from Activision Publishing, Inc. and Marvel Entertainment, I went through binders of men and women (heh…you…you guys remember that? That guy who did that?) to build the most genderfully diverse roster of freaks in spandex you’ve ever seen. I’ve recruited some of the most powerful, intelligent, lovely ladies from the Marvelverse for this game: Psylocke. Domino. Wolverine. The list goes on.

And uhh – heh – a certain catch du jour you may have heard of by the name of Rogue? The Southern belle with the kicks from Hell will be MY contractually obligated co-star!

Mmmmmm – check, please!

Okay. Play it cool, Pool. Gotta think of a really awesome line to impress a Southern lady this classy and elegant. <slicks back facial scarring> “Hey there, sugah… I hear you absorb powers. Well, you’ve certainly absorbed my affection!” No? Hmm…what about “How would you like to join Domino and Psylocke as the inaugural class of Deadpool’s School for Gifted Making Out?” and then I just stare deeply into her eyes for like 15 minutes in silence? Wait, okay, what if I was just like “Damn, girl, you must be Rogue, because you’re sucking the life out of me…” NO! Okay, well, if we break up that’ll be good, but…

GUH! This is difficult! Only now do I understand your burden, everyone on a reality dating show. You – you are the real heroes.

DEADPOOL will be available for Xbox 360®, PlayStation®3, and PC on June 25, 2013 in North America and is rated M (Mature) by the ESRB.